If you’ve ever had any doubt in your mind about a friendship,
Take it seriously.
Initially because it is something, whether you like it or not, that should be addressed. What is it that’s bothering you?
The time spent? Too much time?
Too little time? The lack support gained from the other? Does your friend treat others as kind as they treat you?
Were there hiccups?
You know what I mean. Friendships go on journeys. Like a bumpy rollercoaster or a long road filled with potholes. You expect that they last a while, a lifetime. They can’t all last that long.
Life lessons don’t always take a lifetime.
I had to learn this the hard way.
As I said before, when you make a friend as a child
You always make a vow that you’ll be bestfriends for life.
Never tell each other’s secrets
Always be by their side, ride to the wheels fall off sort of thing you know?
And then, the wheels fall off earlier than you expected.
This is a corny analogy and I am aware of it but hear me out:
It took me eleven long years to realize how miserable I was in a friendship or how foolish I looked defending her.
I was too busy worried about the duration of the friendship and not the quality.
We didn’t fight. We didn’t challenge each other.
I genuinely thought it was because we had that solid of a bond and there were no flaws between us. And I would see small things that would annoy me but my thinking process at the time was, “Who cares? Why would you say something about that, that’s rude.”And I’ll take full responsibility for not being the one to address alot of issues I ended up having as we got older because I know that the fall out would not have been as bad as it was.
Because I’m close with my sister. Very close, SHE is my best friend. And we’ve had the roughest of fights. And so it’s odd now thinking about how I considered this girl a sister and I couldn’t challenge her views and her opinions and her actions as a friend looking out for her, without looking like the bad guy.
Fuck all of that now.
Allow yourself to be the friend that will tell your friend/ bestfriend whatever; that tells their friend they’re doing something stupid, if they’re doing something stupid.
If they’re being a bitch, tell them they’re being a bitch!
Ultimately, I fell out with this friend because she made a choice regarding another friend of ours that I will never agree with to this day. And she believed that it was a choice that I would’ve made too if I was in her position.
It told me right then and there that after eleven years she didn’t know a damn thing about me.
And this woman had no loyalty.
And she is possessive, self-centered, judged everyone while hiding it all under this veil of being a devout Christian.
You want a friendship that has the quality of glass but not a mirror, so you have the capability to shatter the walls they build to see farther than what they are initially giving you.
There is something obviously wrong if you keep having bad hunches about someone that you consider your ‘best friend’ and it won’t get any better if you continue to sweep it under the rug.
Going into my adult years and having friends come and go you learn that Communication is key.
Confrontation is okay.
Your time is precious.
Pay attention to red flags.
And protect your energy.
No relationship, romantic or plutonic is worth looking a fool over.